You are exactly in my position. I don't have a problem with polygamy, per se. When I joined the church, I knew that polygamy had been practiced in the early church. I didn't have a problem with it, but my perception of it was very different from what I later learned to be the reality of it. So, like you, my problem is with the implementation. That's why I have asked about Joseph's marriages to very young girls and to other men's wives. And, also, about the way in which these girls/women were induced into marrying him. It seems to me that the "implementation", as you call it, might have something to do with whether or not one can accept that this was actually from God.
My (very naive) perception of polygamy in the early church had Joseph marrying single, eligible women, closer to his own age...or perhaps women who had lost their husbands in the struggles of the early church and in need of care. (This is actually what the church teaches about polygamy, if and when it comes up at all, and I believed it).. So,
excuse me for being upset when I finally learned the truth.