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Thread: 'Twas the Night Before Smithmas!

  1. #76
    nothead
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    Quote Originally Posted by James Banta View Post
    You are most welcome to post here on this channel, but remember this channel is for the discussion of mormonism and not for personal grips.. Again welcome please try to follow the rules of the channel.. IHS jim
    You mean personal GRIPES?

    Let's stay coherent now. She said I was on the bottle. So I get the chide? Who has the grips, anyhoo? Is that some kinda consta-machination?

  2. #77
    James Banta
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    Quote Originally Posted by nothead View Post
    You mean personal GRIPES?

    Let's stay coherent now. She said I was on the bottle. So I get the chide? Who has the grips, anyhoo? Is that some kinda consta-machination?
    This she you are speaking of might have said that because of your strange speech.. Straighten up and speak like the educated man you want us to believe you are and that will not happen.. But act like a drunk and it most likely will.. Do you have any comment on the OP or not? IHS jim

  3. #78
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    Quote Originally Posted by nothead View Post
    You mean personal GRIPES?

    Let's stay coherent now. She said I was on the bottle. So I get the chide? Who has the grips, anyhoo? Is that some kinda consta-machination?
    Who's she? You want to talk about me, it would be nice if you would use my name here. HEY Richard! you are a pain where I never had an ache. Care to talk about your religion? Seems you came here only to be sarcastic and avoid any conversation about Mormonism. I guess from now on....any comment made by you will be ignored til you decide to post what this site is about. Have a good life.

  4. #79
    neverending
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    Quote Originally Posted by John T View Post
    Today, those sorts of people I put in bold red are called SWINGERS.

    Can anyone tell me why that is NEVER mentioned as part of the LSD history?
    Well John T, if the LDS were to come out and reveal some of their dark history, it could cause many to question; as I did and they could lose many members. Heaven forbid that would happen for Pres. Monson....how would the church be able to keep him living in luxury?
    What I do find very sad is how the majority of LDS members have no idea nor have read their own Church History. It should be a must read or at least taught to seminary students. Wouldn't people want to know how their church began, (we all know how Mormonism began) but how it got from A to B, to C etc? A shame so many LDS are so gullible, willing to believe anything.

  5. #80
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    Quote Originally Posted by neverending View Post
    Well John T, if the LDS were to come out and reveal some of their dark history, it could cause many to question; as I did and they could lose many members. Heaven forbid that would happen for Pres. Monson....how would the church be able to keep him living in luxury?
    What I do find very sad is how the majority of LDS members have no idea nor have read their own Church History. It should be a must read or at least taught to seminary students. Wouldn't people want to know how their church began, (we all know how Mormonism began) but how it got from A to B, to C etc? A shame so many LDS are so gullible, willing to believe anything.
    I read a story about one high official's daughter who had no idea that Joe Smith was a polygamist. I have a book on Mormon history put out by the cult which makes absolutely no mention of polygamy - a central practice of early Mormonism. It has been completely sanitized.
    Oath formerly taken by Mormons promising not to reveal secret Mormon temple rituals: "Should we do so, we agree to have our breasts cut open and our hearts and vitals torn from our bodies and given to the birds of the air and the beasts of the field."

  6. #81
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    Quote Originally Posted by Apologette View Post
    I read a story about one high official's daughter who had no idea that Joe Smith was a polygamist. I have a book on Mormon history put out by the cult which makes absolutely no mention of polygamy - a central practice of early Mormonism. It has been completely sanitized.
    That's why I was saying it is sad that the majority of LDS people have no idea about their church's history. As I said before, if more knew the dark secrets of their beginnings, they would question as I did. Course there's always going to be the die hard members who refuse to see anything and will believe anything. Such was the case with my parents and they are both gone now. How difficult it is for me to know they are not with the Lord even though I and James had many discussions with my Dad, my Mom would leave the room; she knew everything about every religion, that's what she would tell us.

  7. #82
    nothead
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    Quote Originally Posted by James Banta View Post
    This she you are speaking of might have said that because of your strange speech.. Straighten up and speak like the educated man you want us to believe you are and that will not happen.. But act like a drunk and it most likely will.. Do you have any comment on the OP or not? IHS jim
    How many notheads are educated? I got EDUMACATED by the School of Hard Knocks. I know many nots and a few amens.

    Your OP is confusing. Some oddball POEM you wrote or some author who dislikes Mormonism? Lot of scarcasm there. I recognize SARCASM all right.

    Otherwise I am content being the Moderator of Checks and Balances Regarding Pedantic Blanket Statements.

  8. #83
    neverending
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    Quote Originally Posted by nothead View Post
    How many notheads are educated? I got EDUMACATED by the School of Hard Knocks. I know many nots and a few amens.

    Your OP is confusing. Some oddball POEM you wrote or some author who dislikes Mormonism? Lot of scarcasm there. I recognize SARCASM all right.

    Otherwise I am content being the Moderator of Checks and Balances Regarding Pedantic Blanket Statements.
    If you're going to slam this OP best make sure you have who the author was who wrote it. As for this OP, it's not confusing at all if you knew anything about your own Church History....so much for being educated. James Banta is NOT the person who started this OP so best go back to the beginning nothead....or should it be knothead?

  9. #84
    Pa Pa
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    Quote Originally Posted by Apologette View Post
    'Twas the night before Smithmas, and all through the temple,
    Not a cumelon was creeping, or a tapir, (for ex-emple!)
    The garments were hung out to dry in the air,
    But fortunately for us, we have two extra pairs.

    The children were stashed at Gramma's homestead,
    While Mom and Pop got dunked once again for the dead!
    And Mom in her veil, and I in my old bakers' cap,
    Had just about finished another endowment wrap!

    When beyond the temple grounds I heard a big clatter
    Even sprang from my seat to see about the chatter;
    To the pentagram window I flew like an eagle,
    Peered out to see some Christians - they were legal!

    The icky tall towers cast a shadow below
    But still I could see someone I did know.
    For what to unbelieving eyes should appear,
    But my eldest daughter and hubby, my greatest fear!

    With signs held high, walking about and about
    And above the din, I could even hear them shout!
    Rapidly, quickly, their sentences came,
    And they shouted each "profit", yes even by name!

    "Now Smith, now Young, now Kimball and Monson!
    Come on Woodruff, and Taylor, and every man's son!
    To the top of the temple, to the top of the spire!
    Each man can explain why he did conspire"!

    "Joseph Lied"! They shouted as the leaves began to fly,
    We've met the Tanners, and discovered the lies!
    So come out and face us, bring the whole crew!
    Hinckley and "Fielding," and McConkie, too!

    And then in a while, I perceived on the roof!
    That Moroni was laughing, banging his hoof!
    And as I turned back to see my dear wife,
    I saw her run and cry, "getting out with my life."

    The wiggling hand dropped from the eerie veil,
    And soon the whole crowd ran out, 'cept the frail!
    Some hobbled along, they didn't look back,
    'Til there was just me, and Satan in black!

    Old Slew Foot's eyes flashed, as he called after the flee-ers
    "Ha, you fools won't escape, you can't be "believers."
    You see, you've covenanted Joe Smith to obey,
    If you don't, why then fools, I'll rule the day!

    But the stump of one sign still stood on it's pole,
    And it's words could be seen, even thru the cold!
    "Joseph has lied, no first vision , he's a boaster!
    Moronoi never existed, and Smith's an impostor!

    The Christians rejoiced as the Mormons streamed out,
    And I couldn't help hearing them put up a shout!
    With a smile and a prayer, they welcomed the lost,
    And told them the Gospel, Good News in the frost!

    And they spoke God's Word, going straight to their work,
    Filling hearts with hope, and healing the hurt!
    They p***ed out Bibles, and with tears in their eyes,
    Praised the God of the Universe, who vanquishes lies!

    And with hope's spark in my heart, I ran out to see,
    My family who cared to love, love mother and me!
    And I heard them exclaim, as they prayed so intense!
    "Good bye Joseph Smith, and to Satan, get thee hence"!
    You know there is no such thing as Smithmas.

  10. #85
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pa Pa View Post
    You know there is no such thing as Smithmas.
    Parody. Sometimes that's the best method to address things. The point was, that Mormons have an unusual devotion to Joseph Smith, comparable to the way Christians are devoted to Christ. Take Smith out of the equation, and there is no Mormonism, right? However, you can take Luther, or Calvin, or Wycliff, or Hus out of Christianity and our faith still stands.
    Oath formerly taken by Mormons promising not to reveal secret Mormon temple rituals: "Should we do so, we agree to have our breasts cut open and our hearts and vitals torn from our bodies and given to the birds of the air and the beasts of the field."

  11. #86
    Pa Pa
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    Quote Originally Posted by neverending View Post

    Apologette,
    Having been born and raised LDS and my father was a temple worker for over 7 yrs. I was sorry to see this supposed poem. I don't think we can be taken seriously if we are making fun of something that the LDS hold dear. Kind of like someone making fun of our crosses or Pastors wearing robes. Maybe you could delete this thread.
    I don't understanding such mocking either, not to mention there is no such thing as "Smithmas". This type of mocking shows the devil that lives within them, and those given over to a reprobate mind.

  12. #87
    Pa Pa
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    Quote Originally Posted by Apologette View Post
    Parody. Sometimes that's the best method to address things. The point was, that Mormons have an unusual devotion to Joseph Smith, comparable to the way Christians are devoted to Christ. Take Smith out of the equation, and there is no Mormonism, right? However, you can take Luther, or Calvin, or Wycliff, or Hus out of Christianity and our faith still stands.
    Oh yes, Luther who is only second to Hitler as a anti-Semite, and Calvin who ordered other to commit murder. In fact Hitler used the words of Luther to justify the murder of 6,000,000 Jews. Both Calvin and Luther are in hell.

  13. #88
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pa Pa View Post
    I don't understanding such mocking either, not to mention there is no such thing as "Smithmas". This type of mocking shows the devil that lives within them, and those given over to a reprobate mind.
    As a former Baptist, you know very well, Pa Pa, that a reprobate mind is one that can no longer be reached for Christ. Would you say that those who have given themselves fully to Joseph Smith are included in that category (if you were a Baptist of course)? I think you know what you're talking about, but are simply misusing the term. Joseph Smith is not Jesus, and to point out his heresies and evil lifestyle is not wrong. Everything done in secret will be exposed.It is not a sign of being reprobate to point out the sordid, destructive lifestyle lived by Joseph Smith - he was a womanizer, who married the wives of other Mormon men, groomed little girls as young as age twelve to be his "plurals," and claimed God sent an angel to him to force him to commit adultery. Come on, Papa, had you known this stuff before the missionaries proselyted you you'd have run the other way! Smith was evil and there's no use trying to cover it up, because the Lord God has exposed him for what he was! He was the same as most cult leaders of modern times who used power and position for sexual favors. Hey, Koresh and Jones deceived many people (and had they lived in the nineteenth century, they'd probably still be alive sowing their destructive seeds and spiritually murdering their followers). Take a step back, Papa, and really look at Smith, and then remember Our Lord's Words:

    23 Then if any man shall say unto you, Lo, here is Christ, or there; believe it not.

    24 For there shall arise false Christs, and false prophets, and shall shew great signs and wonders; insomuch that, if it were possible, they shall deceive the very elect.

    25 Behold, I have told you before.

    26 Wherefore if they shall say unto you, Behold, he is in the desert; go not forth: behold, he is in the secret chambers; believe it not.

    27 For as the lightning cometh out of the east, and shineth even unto the west; so shall also the coming of the Son of man be.


    Papa, Smith said that Jesus came in the "secret chambers" of a grove - it was a lie! And Jesus warned you beforehand!
    Last edited by Apologette; 01-04-2014 at 08:32 AM.
    Oath formerly taken by Mormons promising not to reveal secret Mormon temple rituals: "Should we do so, we agree to have our breasts cut open and our hearts and vitals torn from our bodies and given to the birds of the air and the beasts of the field."

  14. #89
    Pa Pa
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    Quote Originally Posted by Apologette View Post
    As a former Baptist, you know very well, Pa Pa, that a reprobate mind is one that can no longer be reached for Christ. Would you say that those who have given themselves fully to Joseph Smith are included in that category (if you were a Baptist of course). I think you know what you're talking about, but simply misusing the term. Joseph Smith is not Jesus, and to point out his heresies and evil lifestyle is not wrong. Everything done in secret will be exposed.
    You know I was a Baptist...Mt Zion Baptist Church, Cartersvile GA, Autry Baptist Church, Acworth, GA, Westside Baptist Church, Glenvile, GA. I don't lie here...though you and I were past this? I know Joseph is not Jesus as does every Mormon living, and it is insulting that you would imply such a thing...also I know you believe that there are people from the beginning of all time that cannot be reached by Christ, according to God's will and pleasure. The awful truth is someday that those who cannot extend Charity to other will meet this God and reap the whirlwind.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Pa Pa View Post
    You know I was a Baptist...Mt Zion Baptist Church, Cartersvile GA, Autry Baptist Church, Acworth, GA, Westside Baptist Church, Glenvile, GA. I don't lie here...though you and I were past this? I know Joseph is not Jesus as does every Mormon living, and it is insulting that you would imply such a thing...also I know you believe that there are people from the beginning of all time that cannot be reached by Christ, according to God's will and pleasure. The awful truth is someday that those who cannot extend Charity to other will meet this God and reap the whirlwind.
    Of course I know you were a Baptist, and I also know that if you were truly saved, God will tug you back to Him. Maybe that's why you are here.
    Oath formerly taken by Mormons promising not to reveal secret Mormon temple rituals: "Should we do so, we agree to have our breasts cut open and our hearts and vitals torn from our bodies and given to the birds of the air and the beasts of the field."

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    Quote Originally Posted by Apologette View Post
    As a former Baptist, you know very well, Pa Pa, that a reprobate mind is one that can no longer be reached for Christ. Would you say that those who have given themselves fully to Joseph Smith are included in that category (if you were a Baptist of course)? I think you know what you're talking about, but are simply misusing the term. Joseph Smith is not Jesus, and to point out his heresies and evil lifestyle is not wrong. Everything done in secret will be exposed.It is not a sign of being reprobate to point out the sordid, destructive lifestyle lived by Joseph Smith - he was a womanizer, who married the wives of other Mormon men, groomed little girls as young as age twelve to be his "plurals," and claimed God sent an angel to him to force him to commit adultery. Come on, Papa, had you known this stuff before the missionaries proselyted you you'd have run the other way! Smith was evil and there's no use trying to cover it up, because the Lord God has exposed him for what he was! He was the same as most cult leaders of modern times who used power and position for sexual favors. Hey, Koresh and Jones deceived many people (and had they lived in the nineteenth century, they'd probably still be alive sowing their destructive seeds and spiritually murdering their followers). Take a step back, Papa, and really look at Smith, and then remember Our Lord's Words:

    23 Then if any man shall say unto you, Lo, here is Christ, or there; believe it not.

    24 For there shall arise false Christs, and false prophets, and shall shew great signs and wonders; insomuch that, if it were possible, they shall deceive the very elect.

    25 Behold, I have told you before.

    26 Wherefore if they shall say unto you, Behold, he is in the desert; go not forth: behold, he is in the secret chambers; believe it not.

    27 For as the lightning cometh out of the east, and shineth even unto the west; so shall also the coming of the Son of man be.


    Papa, Smith said that Jesus came in the "secret chambers" of a grove - it was a lie! And Jesus warned you beforehand!
    Papa what about the rest of the post above?
    Oath formerly taken by Mormons promising not to reveal secret Mormon temple rituals: "Should we do so, we agree to have our breasts cut open and our hearts and vitals torn from our bodies and given to the birds of the air and the beasts of the field."

  17. #92
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    Quote Originally Posted by Apologette View Post
    I read a story about one high official's daughter who had no idea that Joe Smith was a polygamist. I have a book on Mormon history put out by the cult which makes absolutely no mention of polygamy - a central practice of early Mormonism. It has been completely sanitized.
    We just finished and entire years studying the teaching of on of our Presidents. Throughout the book it spoke of his polygamy. In Sunday School,mother D&C, and section 132 what discussed. So, it is nonsense that we don't talk about.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Pa Pa View Post
    We just finished and entire years studying the teaching of on of our Presidents. Throughout the book it spoke of his polygamy. In Sunday School,mother D&C, and section 132 what discussed. So, it is nonsense that we don't talk about.
    That's today, Papa, when the cult is trying to deal with the truth. Look at the older book, "Church History in the Fulness of Times," which I have and try to find it in that. Many younger Mormons are leaving today when confronted with the terrible truth of Smith's lifestyle. Look at the series, "Teachings of the Presidents of the Church," and you'll find scant mentioning of polygamy. The whole sordid thing was covered up and you know it. And that's because down deep Mormons know what a shameful thing it was. Smith was a conman who used his position for sex, money and power, just as Koresh did and just as Jones did. No difference at all.
    Oath formerly taken by Mormons promising not to reveal secret Mormon temple rituals: "Should we do so, we agree to have our breasts cut open and our hearts and vitals torn from our bodies and given to the birds of the air and the beasts of the field."

  19. #94
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pa Pa View Post
    We just finished and entire years studying the teaching of on of our Presidents. Throughout the book it spoke of his polygamy. In Sunday School,mother D&C, and section 132 what discussed. So, it is nonsense that we don't talk about.
    Good to hear that you remember the sins of mormonism.. Is it still spoken of as the ordinance that can bring a person to exaltation or is it spoken of as a early church aberration to deal with the large number of women coming to Utah from the "mission field"? You do know that the problem with that is that there was never a surplus of women in Utah.. In the early days when Utah was a Territory men always out numbered women.. That being true the only reason for polygamy was the lust of the men that made up the centers of power within the church hierarchy..

    What you were taught is SS if it taught that polygamy was only to deal with the influx of women to Utah was a lie.. The facts make it clear that polygamy was never needed. Tell me why was it tat when the world need to have it's population increase that God still provided one wife for each man? Adam had one wife, the sons of Noah all had one wife.. Polygamy then is a system based only on men's lusts, not at all the teaching of God, nor the kind of marriage wherein God lives.. Understand I am not calling it sin. I am saying that it is not the kind of marriage that God has directed.. When a man becomes involved in that sort of marriage he is automatically disqualified from being a leader of the Church.. IHS jim

  20. #95
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    Quote Originally Posted by Apologette View Post
    Of course I know you were a Baptist, and I also know that if you were truly saved, God will tug you back to Him. Maybe that's why you are here.
    If I am wrong...I hope he will. But I have had too many overwhelming experiences that would suggest otherwise. My wife had a serious cancer scare, I gave her a blessing; afterward they could no longer find the growth. My daughter had a a condition that could not be corrected without surgery and after a blessing she was healed. Unless you believe they were healed by Satan to confuse me...if so a God who would allow this deserves hell.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Pa Pa View Post
    If I am wrong...I hope he will. But I have had too many overwhelming experiences that would suggest otherwise. My wife had a serious cancer scare, I gave her a blessing; afterward they could no longer find the growth. My daughter had a a condition that could not be corrected without surgery and after a blessing she was healed. Unless you believe they were healed by Satan to confuse me...if so a God who would allow this deserves hell.
    I think many times God will answer the prayers of those who may not have been faithful to Him. He is a God of mercy, Papa. If He wasn't, how would He answer the prayers of those who do not yet believe? And He does. God has a plan for each of us, and obviously that included your wife's health. Was she originally a believer too? I think God is leading you back, Papa, and you have a *** to do in the future, and it won't be easy.
    Oath formerly taken by Mormons promising not to reveal secret Mormon temple rituals: "Should we do so, we agree to have our breasts cut open and our hearts and vitals torn from our bodies and given to the birds of the air and the beasts of the field."

  22. #97
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    Quote Originally Posted by James Banta View Post
    This she you are speaking of might have said that because of your strange speech.. Straighten up and speak like the educated man you want us to believe you are and that will not happen.. But act like a drunk and it most likely will.. Do you have any comment on the OP or not? IHS jim
    Who died and made you Pope, Jim?

  23. #98
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    Quote Originally Posted by Apologette View Post
    I think many times God will answer the prayers of those who may not have been faithful to Him. He is a God of mercy, Papa. If He wasn't, how would He answer the prayers of those who do not yet believe? And He does. God has a plan for each of us, and obviously that included your wife's health. Was she originally a believer too? I think God is leading you back, Papa, and you have a *** to do in the future, and it won't be easy.
    These were blessings not prayers...also you know you all believe I pray to a different God. Don't patronize me.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Pa Pa View Post
    These were blessings not prayers...also you know you all believe I pray to a different God. Don't patronize me.
    No, they were appeals to God, and that is prayer. YOU have no "priesthood" powers. I've had my own children and grandchildren miraculously healed through the laying on of hands and just simple prayer. I had my grandson, who was on the brink of death from mastoiditis with brain infection and in the hospital healed miraculously after prayer, even after the doctors had expressed grave concern. God answers prayers according to HIS Sovereign will, not according to ours. Most Christians here can share similar stories of miraculous acts by God and Divine intervention. Repent and come back to God, I believe that is His will for you.
    Last edited by Apologette; 01-04-2014 at 11:16 AM.
    Oath formerly taken by Mormons promising not to reveal secret Mormon temple rituals: "Should we do so, we agree to have our breasts cut open and our hearts and vitals torn from our bodies and given to the birds of the air and the beasts of the field."

  25. #100
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    Quote Originally Posted by Apologette View Post
    No, they were appeals to God, and that is prayer. YOU have no "priesthood" powers. I've had my own children and grandchildren miraculously healed through the laying on of hands and just simple prayer. I had my grandson, who was on the brink of death from mastoiditis and in the hospital healed miraculously after prayer, even after the doctors had expressed grave concern. God answers prayers according to HIS Sovereign will, not according to ours. Most Christians here can share similar stories of miraculous acts by God and Divine intervention. Repent and come back to God, I believe that is His will for you.
    What about an lever powering experience in the 1983 dedication of the Atlanta Temple, I had. Is this from God? You are trying to play both sides of the of the fence. Also I said that I did not believe he was Christian. Also "Allah" means God in Arabic...so translated into English it means, "There is no God but God". How do you know it was not a gift from someone he loves. If my mother had given me a Cross when I was young I would wear even today.
    Last edited by Pa Pa; 01-04-2014 at 11:22 AM.

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