Memory 2:
By the age of 16, after attending church and having been involved in church youth programs, I realized that everything I knew about God/Jesus came from sermons as well as from selected or ***igned p***ages from the Bible. I decided that if I were going to call myself a true Christian, I should at least read the entire Bible. So, I closed the door and started reading. It wasn’t very long before I began to think, “This can’t be right. I have to be reading it wrong.” I would read p***ages over and over just to see if I misread something. Eventually, I chose to put it down because of the thoughts and feelings it provoked in me. I was afraid God/Jesus would judge me harshly. Although, I was still a believer, it was about this time that I stopped attending church regularly, and several years would p*** before I would attempt to read the Bible again.


Memory 3:
In my early to mid 20s, I had finished school, was working for a living, and enjoying time with my friends. One of those friends was a musician, a psychology student, and a very religious fellow. During one of his visits to my home, he noticed my Bible on a table which I had, once again, started reading. I had made more progress this time but I was still somewhere in the Old Testament. He said, “I see you’re reading your Bible. Good.” Then he picked it up and, without asking, removed my bookmark and placed it at the beginning of the New Testament. He said, “This is all you need to read.” He went on to give me his reasons (a mini sermon, if you will) but I couldn’t hear what he was saying -- I was flabbergasted that he would take that liberty and think it was okay because…Jesus.
Eventually, I did manage to read most of the Old Testament and then I knew why my friend didn’t want me to read it. The God of the Old Testament is a … well, let’s just say he’s not the loving, all knowing God my church pastor wanted me to think he is. But, I still held on to my hope that Jesus is my salvation.